CYNTHIA STARR, QUANTUM CATALYST
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​Being Alone as a Solo Traveler

7/26/2017

2 Comments

 
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I never intended to become a Solo Traveler/Adventurer. It was born out of necessity when my partner died from brain cancer. I left San Antonio, Texas, and drove back to San Diego, California--a journey that took me five weeks to complete. Over the following year, I decided I wanted to know what it was like to travel solo, and decided I wanted to experience traveling to new areas as well as those I hadn’t seen in at least ten years.

I learned some amazing things about being alone as a Solo Traveler!

1.  I LOVE the freedom to see what I want, when I want, for as long as I want!
One of the things I learned about travel is I LOVE it!  The freedom to see what I want, when I want, how long I want…or not, is powerful, empowering and freeing in itself!  I discovered  that it was important to pick spots I REALLY felt excited and inspired by. I learned that being in my own flow, my own rhythm, generated deeper self-trust, and increased my self-confidence and self-reliance.  On a road trip from Southern California to Mt. Shasta, California, a 650 mile one-way solo trek could have taken one whole day; I decided to do it in three days – wanted to experience ease in getting there in good time, without the stress of having to get there on time.

2.  Fear comes up A LOT, and I just deep breathe through it!
I decided to attend a Bette Midler concert last year and when I got seated on the ground floor and was waiting an hour or so, I was nervous:  nervous that I would be judged, being by myself – what would people think --  and decided in that moment – to keep deep breathing -- that I was there to enjoy Bette’s performance and that we all had one thing in common:  we all came to enjoy Bette!  As it came time for the concert to begin, I found that my fears had dissipated and I really enjoyed myself!

3.  I am my own "cheerleader"!
In traveling solo, I discovered that  I became my own “cheerleader” -- cheering myself on with “I did it!  I did it! I did it!”, with my “did it” dance!  Recently, I decided to go to a 70s/80s dance at the last minute and drove to a location I’d never been before.  On my way there, I did lots of deep breathing, along with giving myself options that if I didn’t enjoy it, I could always go home.  During this trip, I found myself wanting to turn my car back and go home, and I kept telling myself I’d be okay and could go home whenever I felt like it.  I got there, paid my admission, and after a half an hour, found that the people and dancing were “dead” – no one was dancing, no one seemed to be having any fun, and most of all, there was no 70s/80s music playing!  I decided waiting another hour was not fun for me, and that being at home with myself would be much more enjoyable than being in this space.  So, as I walked back to my car and drove home, I was feeling great. I was so happy that I had taken the chance and followed through, that I did the “I did it, I did it, I did it” dance in my car to my favorite kind of music – just for me! 

You will find that being alone as a Solo Traveler is about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. You can be your own cheerleader, whatever that is for you. You can experience more self-confidence and self-reliance by not allowing fear to dictate your decisions, and this can lead to you doing many more things in your life!

2 Comments
Susan Burton
2/7/2021 03:49:59 pm

Hi Cynthia!

I love travelling alone now too. I can eat when I want, where I want, and what I want. I can stay up as late as I want and sleep in in the hotel lets me. I can go slowly while I travel (like you did). And I can make a SURPRISE STOP whenever I feel like it.

It took me awhile to realize how much fun it was.

My friend who has travelled the world alone loves to meet new people and talk to everyone she comes across. But she has her quiet days too. I am more cautious about that. But if I DO talk to a new person, I can walk away whenever I am ready. I don't have to wait on anyone.

Also, I am SO sorry about the loss of your partner.

Some day, I hope that I can travel again.

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