I realized recently, within the last few years, that I have not been very good at boundaries in my everyday life. There is some part of me that on some level wants outside approval, to be liked, loved, wanted, even needed, to feel I belong….with a friend, a group and sometimes, as a part of my family.
I noticed this issue of boundaries in almost every area of my life, and I realized a couple of things:
1. No boundaries means taking on too much responsibility by not saying "No".
I noticed I had almost no boundaries in all my relationships (personally and professionally). I would live out patterns where I took on too much responsibility. I very rarely said “No” to things I did not want/need to do. I was almost always “out of rhythm” with myself and my own needs.
2. No boundaries means living your life on someone else's terms.
I was almost always living out my life on someone else's or society’s terms when it came to Being, Living my life. I didn’t really know what I desired, needed, or wanted. I realized I didn’t know what my “rhythm” was, except that I needed to follow others’ to feel that I “fit” in.
I decided to change some habit patterns and my first change was to say “No”, simply and completely, without needing to give a reason at all for that ‘No’. I could see that saying ‘No’ was…very freeing, and created a “drama-free" life, where I felt empowered and powerful within myself and my life.
The second pattern I shifted was in choosing to feel better or choose thoughts, feelings, actions in my life that simply “feel good” to me in this moment – moment-to-moment, that bring in appreciation and gratitude, and that give me more “feel good” moments, resulting in me feeling…happy inside me!
So, choosing to honor boundaries with myself and in my life is and continues to be a way for me to continue allowing myself to Be, Living and walking Me in my life!